so since PHONE IN SICK DAY this year.. i lost the fuckin plot. with a 900 word DISS emailed to me while chilling with my misses in Cornwall, from my co-pilot and band partner Doghouse. 900 words on why i am such a CUNT. And then being let down later in the year by some other friends and associates… and acquaintances. Hmmmm.
I sometimes feel like no-one gets me. Then when your closest friends fuck you in the arse it can send you over the edge.
i done nothing for a few months and distanced myself from several people, and the band had the quietest Summer since we begun while i was busy working shit out. but fuck it. something needed to change and this was the fuckin beginning.
dealing with BETRAYAL from all sorts of other angles and generally feeling let down by most and every fucker i know, i lost direction this year. Which led me to sell almost all my belongings and almost drop the lot to start something new. With unanswered questions on why people were acting certain ways… and other people who have blatantly taken the piss without explanation…… it’s been a struggle. I have had to let people go.
BUT this all changed in the last few days… I have spoken to some people this week who have put things into perspective, i can’t explain what has happened yet. But i will. And it was mind blowing.
I know exactly what the fuck i’m doing now. AND i am no longer going to be guilt tripped into peoples fuckin sad situations to make them progress or feel better. I mean it when i say everyone can go FUCK THEMSELVES.
This Winter is now an EXPERIMENT in music production. I plan to put the techniques needed to polish my turds into action… and sink into the studio.. i will remix. i will collaborate and i will try and make the Sicknote Foel Jam into an album (which is a fucking stupidly MASSIVE job)
I begin this week. With the help of DJ Tommy Tank in the studio. And i’m fucking buzzing. As much as I love gigging they only getting in the fuckin way right now as i am advancing in the studio which is exactly what Sicknote and I need. The time is coming. The album is coming.
Filth’s new baby is coming… so PHONE IN SICK will mark a 3 month break from live gigs.. this will bring us up to the start of summer when i hope to have a hand full , if not an album full, of kicking tracks that will blow the bollocks off the world and do us justice at last.
All is good.
Fuck every one who ever betrayed me. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE you fucking fucks.
“We’re all hypocrites, but by admitting it, you transcend it and it no longer becomes a personality defect as it is in the people who blindly cling to their own self-righteousness. By knowing all this you grow from it. I’ve grown from it.” -Marilyn Manson
here is the new video i put together today for the band i breathe, live and love.
It’s made up of a great scene i loved from the movie ‘Paris Je’taime’:
Ps. Halloween was a glorious mess with the shittest soundsystem i have ever played through and a pig’s head being thrown at the crowd. fucking brilliant.
PPs. this website might disappear soon as several people are asking me to change stories to protect them. you may need to wait for the book if this continues… 😉