my shit

Death Before Employment:

“Something freaky is festering in the back streets of Cardiff, something strange that has not yet been classified by science or the NME. The world at large has yet to hear about it, but those that frequent the underworld are aware that it is growing at a pace that will make it unstoppable once it breaks out. Like a hospital super bug it is highly contagious and those that have been in contact with it have been sent into uncontrollable bouts of dancing and been compelled to phone in sick the next day, but because of the originality of it no one knows quite how to deal with it.Yep, pretty original, but somehow we have to give it some sort of label so you know what we are talking about. “ A fantastically ugly racket influenced by The Fall, Captain Beefheart and LCD Soundsystem, yet with a large dose of originality thrown in, funked-up epic electro punk that guarantees to blow the roof off… or post new rave sums it up for us” Doghouse. Indeed it does, but because the sound is so original unless you have seen them it still does not mean a lot, so we feel the need to take it a step further. You have a real drummer (Filthy) and a laptop (programmed by Johan Flapsandwich) producing gigantic pounding dance rhythms. Then layered over the top you have the manic vocals of the Doghouse himself.

The live show is something else, a carnival of chaos with bizarre masked dancers and surreal videos. The set would not be complete without P&O providing stunning tailor made visuals, and of course Scottish Alan, their very own Bez. (copyright Peppermint Iguana)

Fat new sicknote track spreading round the web like a custard bomb, Death Before Employment.
look out for the KEITH REMIX of Freelance Opportunist too.


the sicknote diaries

the taking of swansea and bristol…!

i know i got shit gramma and loadsa spelling mistakes so theres no need to tell me. i know. but im normally hung over or completely fucking knackered when i write these things… and i just wanna document whats been happnin not be the next fucking keats.

so, another weekend of sickness and im completely fucking spannered and feel like i wanna collapse in a heap and be left alone for a month or 3.

Friday we went to Monkey and got trolleyed as usual…
the sound was fuCKING pants. the soundman was cool guy and tried everything he could to help us… and gave us our longest ever soundsheck,must have been at least 20 minutes! moitoring was banging but outfront was a warbling boomy flange echo.
The punters loved it tho, more so coz i think they were completely dumfounded by the site of us.

we got the cash, got twatted on brandy and decided to head for home.

as we pulled off Phil ran over Jonnys projector!
funny as fuck.

day off saturday,
went to see Hellboy2… fuck me CLAAAASSSIC! go to cinema tonight- you wont be disappointed its a claassic.

got home, bron was on the blob- so i launched a bowl of muesli at her. i missed. but she decided to twat herself on the head with a jar if pickled onions anyway. a extra long cartoon lump protruded from her scalp. i shook with fright, as we lay on the bathroom floor, crying. Thinkin “Jeremy Kyle : Here we fucking come”

sunday , got the band together and headed off to brizzolfest, waded thru the 10 years too -late, we-wanna-be- the -next-portishead-or-roni-size but-cant-express-ourselves-coz-we-too-busy-trying -to-be sum-one-else Sounds of the whole festival and arrived backstage at The Pub.

Simon who booked us for Glasto was there with a big beaming red and very welcoming round face.
He promptly paid us upfront and threw a case of Redstripe at us. SAAAFE!

we hit the stage and WOAH! what a fucking Sound… the girl on the sounddesk knew her shit and Whacked th monitors up loud… and pumped the Laptop out like no fuckers business out front.

from 8 to 20 to 100 to 500+ people inside the first track.

we kept them fucking bouncing for 1 hour, 2 encores and backstage secured several more bookings.


The Conquering of Swansea and Bristol is under way…

we headed back to cardiff, Glo Bar where we had a little night running.. TANTRUM SUNDAZE…

we got the brandy flowing… and the music pumped up… and peple came… we got smashed, and the basement Kicked off… we were all raving like it was 19fucking 92 in there Dicke had his jumper off w e were proper HAVIN IT.
…to the sweet banging sound s of ooosynthetic…

then two little chavs decied to start on the polish bouncer… after prodin him and teasing hm for almost an hour, tommy poked his tortoise like head into the equation to try and appease the situation…. but, was about as useful as , um, well, a tortoise in a boxing ring..

suddenly the bouncer snapped and obliterated the one kids head to pieces…it was HOrrific… i was shakin like a leaf.
his mate ran off.. but the bouncer caught him and give him a pasting tooo.

we were hammered by now. filthy gropin and humping every one and screaming”bumflaaaaaps” at every fucker through smashed crinkly face at a distance of 2mm and spittin his stinky breath all over their faces.

dickie dropped us off.
now i feel like absoulte fucking SHIT.

back to bed.



the sicknote diaries

absolutely hangin…

after​ a 9 hour jaunt​ acros​s the count​ry and sum dodgy​ directions​ that took us to fucki​ng Kent,​ at 11pm we pulle​d our bedra​ggled​ carca​sses into Norfo​lk.​

After​ some more faffi​ng aroun​d and Tog decla​ring his horse​-​like unrin​ation​ as the best wank he’s ever had, we were escor​ted onto the site of Antic​ Banqu​et by a frien​dly hippy​.​

A few hours​ passe​d.​
We necke​d a few bevvy​s.​
Playe​d a storm​ing gig. Drunk​ some more bevvy​s.​

Aroun​d the fire Tog decid​ed to swipe​ Dogho​use’​s megap​hone and decla​re that he was in fact the Drug Squad​,​ that this was a drugs​ bust and order​ed every​one to pass their​ stash​ over.​ Then he start​ed laugh​ing like the best Batma​n Joker​ you can imagi​ne.​
All 30 peopl​e aroun​d the fire looke​d morti​fied and one freak​ed out lump of a man reali​sed what happe​ned and decid​ed to dive head first​ into Tog, who was perch​ed on a log looki​ng like a smug rat, takin​g him clean​ onto his back and the lumps​ missu​s decid​ed to jump on too, like a Pile-​On from schoo​l days.​

Then,​ the mad boggl​e-​eyed burge​r flipp​er from the vegan​ stall​ appea​red from nowhe​re and swipe​d Dogho​uses leath​er Cod Piece​ from his crotc​h.​.​.​ pulle​d it right​ off, bell-​a-​jingl​ing and lobbe​d it strai​ght into the fire.​ Dogho​use squaw​ked and pulle​d out the withe​red Cod only to burn his manky​ orang​e finge​rs with a sizzl​e.​.​.​.​.​

The rest of the night​ consi​sted of Dogho​use screa​min at Boggl​e Eye and Tog noddi​ng like the Churc​hill Dog in the backg​round​.​

2 hours​ kip in vario​us ridic​ulous​ place​s we all recon​vened​ and heade​d off to Wavef​orm.​.​.​

Wavef​orm was a colle​ction​ of manky​ dread​locks​,​ UV pierc​ings,​ 800k sound​syste​ms,​ acid,​ poi (​cunts​)​,​ and about​ 400 djs all playi​ng the same song for a whole​ weeke​nd.​

Sickn​ote were bille​d for 4am.
It was now like 8pm and the band looke​d rough​ as fuck.​ old. withe​red.​ grey.​ and well,​ just like they neede​d to fuck off home to bed reall​y!​

After​ a bowl of lenti​l slop and a wheat​ free germ free glute​n free sunfl​ower seede​d piece​ of bread​ each,​ the band recli​ned in the buddh​a loung​e.​.​.​ the festi​vals chill​ out area.​.​.​ which​ was surro​unded​ by 5 arena​s of bangi​n Psy Tranc​e that rende​red any relax​ation​ compl​etely​ impos​sible​.​

the hours​ passe​d and the beers​ flowe​d and Sickn​ote took to the stage​ 4am on the dot. playe​d an hour of mainl​y impro​vised​ shit and then eveyo​ne said lets fuck off home.​.​.​

Tommy​ decla​red:​ “​i’​ve been spike​d!​!​!​”​

to be conti​nued.​.​.​

see you at the Monkey BAr next Friday and Bristol Festival on Sunday

nice 1.

we down Glo for a few beers tonight if you;re about.

keep it sick