the sicknote diaries

Sicknote BRIGHTON debut

Doghouse at the squat

The phone rang on Thursday night and it was Jo the excited promoter, for our big Brighton debut in a squat tomorrow night… he was banging on about a 15k rig and how he needed to know our tech spec so it was all in place… i said as long as your sound man knows what he’s doing we can go with just a line-check…

Then i phone Dickie Balboa, the Bosshog and sicknote driver, i had heard he was pissed off and fed up, and that he had had a titful of us cunts. He said upon answering, “I want out.”
I listed to his reasons and couldnt really argue with any of them
-waiting round for fucking hours for the band to stop partying after gigs
-being ignored when he phoned ready to leave
-arguments over cash
-too old for it all
-cost of the sickmobile was crippling him
-wanted to get back into his own art
-just had enuff
-given from the bottom of his heart for years
-need his time from himself

Dickie Balboa and Johnny No-Cash loved each other

He said he would take us one last time so as to not leave us in the shit.

I got up early, hired a motor and texted Dickie: “all sorted Balb, I love you.”
We got in the car, tunes pumping and flew to Brighton in no time

WE laughed at each others hairstyles, then Doghouse tried to tell me to answer my phone and i told him to FUCK OFF, the we drove up and down the same road about 14 times until we found it……
We walked in to the squat and was greeted by Jo, he showed us to the gig room:
we stepped inside and there were 5 crusties, a dog, a mad man jumping around with his top off and a PA that looked like it was set up for a karoke in your local pub…
WHat…… THE…….. fuck.

a friendly bunch brought us food and made us feel comfortable…
slowly the place rammed out with anarchist punks, young chavs, old acid casualties and big sweaty dogs.
before we knew it we couldn’t move, rammed. people fallin over each other all over the place

I got friendly with the sound man, and he seemed to have the soundsystem tuned to it’s finest for a while, which made me think we might just be able to pull this one off….

Big heavy anarcho-punk bands slammed out their sets to a massive mosh pit, spitting cider all over each other just below a collapsed ceiling with bare wires hanging out of it….the atmosphere roared and stunk. Their big amps made it possible for them to sound pretty fucking mean, and only the vocals were coming through the actual PA, i’m thinking i gotta pump my tunes through this vocal PA after this, we have no amps…. oohhhhhh fuck.

the buzz is huge for our Brighton debut, and i’m thinking this is fucked.
I look over and our only hope of pulling this off, Jamie the soundman, was clinging on to a mic stand, with a can of special brew in his hand, eyes in the back of his head…… and then…………… BANG he fell off the stage onto the dance floor and was struggling to escape what looked like a black hole, no mind a k-hole…. “OH SHIT”
Jamie – The Sound Man

The Autonomads took to the stage and performed their Ska routine, and got the place bumping….
our good friend and London DJ, Sugarlump turned up with a bag full of t-shirts for the band, and a nice fLapSANDwitch one for me, wicked,.. he took one look at the PA and said “You’re Fucked!”
Louise Disgrace turned up with a friend but i think i was too worried to even be slightly sociable…

So, we took to stage. At this point the soundman was collapsed over the Amps balancing his body on one toe and licking the back of the amp, which incidentally was connected to the speaker leads with a Kit-Kat wrapper…. i shit you not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doghouse had managed to rope in a friend and sound engineer to try and make sense of the complete fucking disaster….  he managed to get us on…. we kicked off with Ectoplasmic and the place went fucking mental….
people jumping, and moshing and screaming, various nutters were grabbing the mic shouting “God Save the Queeeeen” or “Squatting is finished” … people were falling onto the stage… then we dropped Burden and BANG! the right hand speaker blew up!!! we carried on, the crowd a sea of fucking insanity spilling onto the stage….. i looked behind me at our munted engineer, he was now turnin all the knobs on the desk and amps, with his eyes shut tight and toungue hanging out…..

then BOOF, fuck all…. we were cut off completely… people were screaming…. i dragged the soundman off stage and half way across doghouse belted through his megaphone:”Ladies and Gentlemen, The Sound Man!!!” i held him up and the crowd screamed their appreciation……

a friendly topless lad grabbed my hand from the mental crowd and shouted “FUCK IT MATE, Dont stress!! we fucking love you!!!! i came from manchester for you’s and i fucking love it!”

Dog’s mate managed to get the soundsystem to come back on in the one speaker… we blasted out Pikey Drum n Bass, probably the worst we have ever sounded, the place went nuts, half way through BANG!!! game over… there was fuck all left of it.

we chilled for half hour but i was so fucking knackered…..
we got in the motor and i sped back to Cardiff, toe to the metal, tunes pumping nice, listened to The Holy Trinity EP and was fucking chuffed with it, not listened in a while……
with a fat moon in hung in the sky guiding us to our humble homeland, a wicked track from Hank Williams III caressed our echoey heads… “3 shades of Black…” – we decided this was to be the opener track for future sicknote show to bring us on stage… what a tune….  it was about 8am, i chucked the keys to The Filth and headed to my pad, i spoke to my lady on her way to work and collapsed into bed.


the sicknote diaries

celebrating our wrong bits in brum

so we were all set to go for our first gig of 2011, i had two belting new loops loaded up and couldn’t wait to drop ’em tonight.. it was Dr Wrong’s lady’s birthday… and things get very messy when he’s in control of things!!

i had sorted a lift for Rev and Flake which had fallen through last minute, but no-one bothered to tell me. So after finding out literally a couple of hours before we left, La Joie showed massive generosity and offered me the car to take the lovely fuckers to the gig as it would be the last gig before The Rev goes in for his big op.

There was a spare seat as La Joie was still recovering from last week’s lurgy…

So we were flying up the M5 tunes pumping, Sat Nav nagging, Phil mumbling, Flake apologising and Katya scaring the shit out me at random intervals cackling at 4000db.

The venue was a pub in the middle of a scabby looking trading estate. The first room was an old school pub with open fire and old men drinking smelly ale.  There was a stage in the garden with heaters and a pumping system, a gaggle of crusties swiggin cider, Dr Wrong’s massive demented grin poked me in the eye and Graham Sugarlump hugged me while bopping behind the deck’s.

Mrs Megan Wrong – Birthday Girl:
Wicked people, wicked set up. Gayface was there with his crew and threw me a beer. Safe!

After a while i wandered round and found Shuddervision Soundsystem had a room upstairs..  with main man Digits McPhee dropping some seriously fat tunes i let the bass warm me up in that room for a while. I met a load of Spartacus’ Sikh bodybuilding guido-friends, and we named them ‘Sikhnote’. Nice blokes, bit mental.

Live music from Headgames and Stiff joints got people bopping and wicked DJ Graham Sugarlump kept it jumping inbetween.
I necked loadsa cococola as the caffiene keeps me awake and after about 3 pints i’m buzzin n twitchin’ like a chubby Wilco Jonhson as we take to the stage…

we smash the fuck out of it, ‘benefit cheat’ – nailed it for the 1st time, and the two new ones souding fecking FAT… especially ‘Righteous’ probably my fave Sicknote tune now…
think The Rev captured it on video.. but he’s in for the op now, so we might not see that 1 for a while.

The crowd bounce like fuck and a spannered Kat wanders on to stage with a pint spilling all over the place looking like a lost baby t-rex. she comes over to me with the sad pouty face and beers flying all over me laptop, completely oblivious where she is………. “FUCK OFF!” i scream in her face…..
she trots off and dances directly in front of Doghouse so no one in the crowd can see him, least of all the guy with the HD camera!!! then she hits the deck.
Four times she kisses the deck and get’s back up, i grab a sweaty Spartacus-in-a-dress and tell him if he calls himself Sickurity then get her off the fucking stage.
Done my box in. BANNED, lionel last week, Kat this week.

The place went nuts, and we played an encore of 3 tunes.
Philo Deranged screamed PIKEY at me and so we finished with Pikey Drum n Bass which seemed apt….

I got off stage, went to the car and some cunt had put the window through and nicked my ipod shuffle, Kat’s sat nav and jill’s monster munch. fucking gutted. the back passenger window was completely shattered. cunts. i was fucking fuming…

Dickie Balb helped me patch up the window. Katya had lostALL of her stuff and was now missing. Gayface had sent word she was safe with him. We fucked off home, with Flakey’s ipod plugged in treating us to some lovely wobbly bassed tunes, just the way she likes it. My anger disolved in the comfort that some fucker was dancing to my tunes on my ipod out there, and so what, a piece of glass, worse things have happened….. i Popped in theirs for a cuppa about 5 or 6am, then went to sort da window, got to bed in the afternoon….

Mission Accomplished. Slept like a dog.

It’s tuesday now, Kat got back safe, Dickie fucked off without the boys again, and Filth is home, but i think Doghouse and Johnny are stil up there loving the attention and getting trollied. ahah. I’ll wait for the call in a few days when they’re all depressed and skint. ahahahahaaaaa


next up>>>>>
SMASH THE EDO massive gig in BRIGHTON>>
21st January
info to follow

ooooh, just had a message off Phil, he’s waiting for a hospital bed, they gunna phone him, keeping him hanging there and stressed bunch of shit… in the meantime he uploaded the first play of ‘righteous’.. not the best sound.. but gives you an idea where we goin with this one:

the sicknote diaries

1st ever Sicknote gig

  Sicknote ● First Diagnosis by Tantrum Records

an introduction from Doghouse:

“After a few brief meetings in Whitchurch Hospital and Netties Fancy Dress Shop, on the 14th of March 2005 Johan Flapsandwich and Doghouse bumped into each other and had a pint at The Hawaiian on City Road, Cardiff.

Doghouse mentioned that he’d performed the night before at Jacuzzi Junta, at Chapter Arts Centre – improvising lyrics over some electronic backing.

Although the crowd had been indifferent, he was keen to get back into performing with his voice; in fact he’d bought a mic two years ago with this in mind, but none of the local musicians took him seriously. Johan expressed surprise, not realising that Doghouse was a vocalist, and told him that he made music and maybe they should get together sometime for a jam. Doghouse went home that night excited, and the next day told his partner everything. She suggested he give Johan a ring, and just at that moment the phone rang. It was Mr. Flapsandwich himself suggesting they get together that afternoon.

Doghouse bought a bottle of wine and went round there to be played some of the tunes Johan had been creating. The chemistry was there instantly and Doghouse ran home to get his mic. The afternoon was spent jamming and a definite sound was formed. The buzz was overwhelming.

Three days later they were asked to play live at The Old Howardian Club, Clifton Street, Cardiff.

The gig was recorded live from the mixing desk onto mini disc. The three tunes captured represent Sicknote at their most minimal; Flapsandwich at the controls and Doghouse oozing stream of consciousness meanderings. The audience stayed well away from the spectacle, tapping their feet in unison, their backs against the wall, but Sicknote were born and there was no going back.


my shit, the sicknote diaries

Mass Data-Loss, The Tantrum Dance and a Breakfast Fit for a Dog…..

so this website is coming together fookin’ lovely, well happy with it. been uploading most of the archive to the music tab, click up there^ and you can get lods of FREE tantrum records music for download, including The Physicists, Sicknote, Foggerton, Tommy Tank, dumBass and loads more……..also got the 3 remix lab albums for free too, just look around and help yourself!!!! look out for brand new tantrum stuff next month too!!! so today i went for brekky with doghouse at the lovely (but toiletless) Servini’s

yesterday he lost the plot on me about all these things that were doing his head in with Sicknote and i was like ok, let’s meet and express ya concerns, but none of them come out over breakfast. hungover. we made some pretty sick plans and ideas tho, should meet more often i think.
-I came back to HQ and discovered my back up hard-drive for all of 2010’s work has indeed died. after i tripped over it’s wire and sent it flying across my room, i been too scared to plug it in, but i did today and yip… it’s all gone.. the lot. KAPUT. so my head is in the shed about that one.. but what can i do? Just need to move on… and keep creating… and not think of all that shit i just lost 😮 Fookinell :/ gutted.
So i made the Tantrum Dance video then, with the backing track from my Gay Bar Re-Rub… with footage from an actual 1960s dance called the Tantrum Dance!!!
Trying to embed it in the sidebar of my website over there>>>> but can’t seem to get it to work.. ah well, here tis:
Next up, i have promised Eggy of Dapper FM a remix of Leftfield‘s Phat Planet by tomorrow for his show at 8pm, and Filth has jsut booked the jam room for Sicknote to learn Benefit Cheat tomorrow at 1pm…..
so i need to get on it now… I’m about half way… so back to it, i’ll post the remix up here tomorrow after his show.. but be sure to tune in.
beef. laters
my shit

flap planet

so, while chilling with ‘egg for breakfast’ over christmas, he dedicated the massive Phat Planet by Leftfield to me live on his show on Dapper FM.
Chuffed i was, so i offered to do a re-rub exclusively for his show…
tonight it’s AIRED after 8pm!!! so TUNE THE FUCK IN!!!!!

after he’s dropped it a link will appear here for 100 people to donwload it::::
Flappy vs Leftfield – Obese Planet [100 Free Downloads] by FLAPSANDWICH


it’s been a great day here at Tantrum HQ, i woke up after a late one last night of producing some of the fattest tunes yet to be known by humankind!!!!
i set up my chunky Yamaha speakers either side of my bed yesterday afternoon and spent 12 hours smashin the shit out of them from the comfort of me bed. heaven.
Leftfield’s re-rub was born as was a new Sicknote tune (working title – ‘Who Put The Lie In Belief’)….

i got a few hours kip then was woken by my flat mate slamming the fuck out of the doors, usual drill.

I put some touches to the tune and then headed off down Cardiff Bay to meet Steve Sub. We popped in Bar Salt and had Eggs Benedict and a coffee and chatted about plans for 2011 in Sub and Tantrum world… We got a bit excited about a few possible common goals, most notably a new Cardiff venue…. (WATCH THIS SPACE)

i then headed off down MUSIC BOX rehearsal rooms, not realising quite how fucking far it was. I got totally drenched on my hike and arrived pretty late, but still before Doghouse and The Filth.

We set up and blasted the fuck out of ‘Benefit Cheat‘, just to nail the drum sections and vocal chants. Then we jammed on the new one… i asked Dog to spit about his head state concerning his personal problems and to get evil about what he hates.
Fucking Banging. this new tune is my favourite Sicknote tune at the mo, and is much more dark and serious than anything we have ever done… buzzing i was. Hairs standing up and just excited to drop the fucker tomorrow night live at Celebrate Your Wrong Bits in Birmingham!!!! WOOOP!

we headed to Dog’s, ordered a Sicknote drum skin cover for Filth.

Who was sat there? Dr Conker! looking fucking gorgeous. He is back from the other dimension and we are talking of his return. Fat plan’s are afoot.
The reverend and the Flake turned up with some sick goods for tomorrow’s gig.

I ran home met Johnny for a cuppa tea, mastered Phat Planet, sent it to the Egg and now i’m having a well deserved break.

Don’t forget tune in to Eggy’s Show at 8pm tonight on DAPPER FM.

safe. sorry about the rant.. just thought i’s share my excitement with ya’ll

ciao for now brown cow

the sicknote diaries

Club Neurotica 2010 / 2011 NYE

after an amazing christmas time, i leave the lovely Lajoie in bed with the lurgi, crying, gutted she can’t celebrate the new year….

i head home and chill with ninjah for a while.

dickie balboa turns up, and off we go. there’s a WAG in the car!!! Miss Furry Muff, it’s against the rules, but we let Dog off cos he just got her back and he has never looked so happy.

I’m thinking about things in a weird wonky way, head not in the right place… but fuck it i won’t bore you with the details…

After a few hours bouncing round in the car talking total bollocks we arrive at the warehouse in Shoreditch, and what a fucking venue! 1500 capacity, four fat rooms… we find the live room and catch a smiley Mr Dave Skelcey, the main man.

The tribe start to turn up, and everyone is hugging me more than usual and someone jibbers, “you’re such a people person” – think they taking the piss coz i aint hardly seen spoke to a soul since the last gig 3 weeks ago(!)

We chill back stage, behind the speakers, separated by a bit of cloth, it is fucking LOUD as fuck.. and pretty small, and uncomfortable. not ideal.

everyone gets a bit wobbly and then what the fuck’s this? It’s a line dancing band, live on stage… fucknose?!!!??! we slap our thighs and bosch more shite/…. Midnight strikes to mark the end of my favourite year ever. I grab Dickie and plant my quivery crusty lips on his unsuspecting beefy chops.

the warehouse fills up with weird and wonderful smiley people. Some weird force seems to grip the tribe and force all their smiles upside down… summink is wayward…

coocoo what gwan

A burlesque dancer takes to the stage as our warm up act, and Johnny No-Cash is standing behind the stage watching her, he leans over to a guy and says… “What the fuck is that fat bird doing on stage?” and the guy replies, “Thats my girlfriend.”

How to Win Friends and Influence People Part 2 by Johnny No-Cash will be available on Tantrum Books in the summer.

Finally we are called to the stage….

WE play a blinder only spoiled by a few helmets on stage, and the prize peni Lionel Rich Tea who spills my entire can of cider all over my table so my laptop is fucking dripping mid-set and manages to dance in front of doghouse for the rest of the set. hmpf.

i drop the new ‘snowing’ drum n bass track i made in bed a while back and it’s lush to see the place go nuts.. fuckin loves it..

Flake gets a bit wonky and the tribe leave straight after the gig. A few weird fish throw some sweets and shrooms into our desperate brandy filled jowells, Filthy strolls off to a doorway area where hundreds of people are passing and mongs out….

i visit a few odd levels and before we know it we are all monged and the sun is up and no-one really knows what the fuck is going on. Well, I dont thats for sure coocoo

we leave thru a back door, and i lob myself in the naughty seat so i don’t have to communicate. as i’m incapable. several huors later i’m launched into a bustop full of shoppers in a busy street in Cardiff, with my trousers round my arse and a bottle of god knows what under my arm, my hunch back has sprouted again, and i drag my pathetic carcass across the gloomy afternoon city…

i launch the bottle into the nearest bin, and i’m busting for a toilet… I make it to my front door, piss all over it, crawl upstairs and collapse in a heap.

a two day complete mental breakdown follows.