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I was watching the final episode of The Larry Sanders Show. One of my favourite characters of all time, the amazing Hank Kingsley, was having a total mental collapse after the news of his show getting cancelled. During his nervous breakdown he raged at Larry that he aint gonna put up with his shit no more and, if he carries on, he will choke him, with his ass. Yip. Choke him with his ass (or in Welsh: arse). A few scenes later Hank is crying on Larry’s and Rip Torn’s shoulder, blubbing away, so distraught, bless him.
The Larry Sanders Show final episode coincided with the demise of my band in 2013 (ok i was watching it a decade later than most people). Dr Conker had ascended and we were left bickering and never spending any time together. I related with Hank’s frustration and anger. I immediately ripped his breakdown out of the show and whacked it over a sample i had made previously of the infamous Glitter Beat…..
Yes. Hank Kingsley and Gary Glitter gave birth to Clusterfuck.
I jammed around with it and exported a rough demo, which i entitled ‘Grow A Pair’. (below)
A year later i was jamming with an old mate and we started making some tunes. Everything sounded so angry.
the 1st tune was an Angry reaction to the shit that was ATOS. A Tory programme that was removing disabled peoples benefits en masse. It was wreaking fucking havoc across the UK with many vulnerable, incapacitated and ill people losing their basic living help, resulting in extreme poverty, depression, starvation and in several cases suicide. Fucking Tory cunts then somehow got voted back in. How. THE . FUCK.
Then we made a video for another outburst of anger. The most cathartic song i had ever made where every last molecule of anger left me and for a short period of time only existed in this song!
Then we thought ‘fuck it that was fun, lets make an album’. So we started jamming and meeting weekly and making a racket. A lot of the shit we were making was angry. But we wanted to let a range of our emotions come through and we didn’t want it to be all us shouting and screaming. We decided to do a couple of covers. Something, until then, i was dead against. But, we were loving an old obscure rockabilly artist called Benny Joy and decided to cover a few of his songs. One of which we used the old GROW A PAIR track for……. (a song about suicide, the eerie ‘Dark Angel’, track 2 on the album).
We also decided to open up the album to guests who were keen to get involved and sent out some invites to people we knew. a few people dropped some vocals and bits and bobs and before we knew it we had a nice collection of tunes.
After much fighting with each other we christened the debut album ‘Dear Mortal’. It’s a weird collection which somehow is, for me, a total release of everything i felt in the last 2 years. out. gone. nice.
We may take the project live, see how it goes. We never aimed to please anyone. This was for us. And we made sure it was as selfishly honest as possible. We are chuffed with the feedback from all of people liking the album so far but it’s not about that this time. its about letting something out. something that was trapped.
Creativity is essential. Let it GO. EXPRESS your SHIT in your OWN weird WAY! and move the fuck on.
here’s our original demo of Dark Angel, without the words. As it was then called ‘Grow A Pair’. Free Download. Check the album to listen to the final version.