my shit

FUCK OFF SATURN

and so saturn has come back into play…

its a weird one saturn, it’s like everythings going wrong, but if you can keep your head above water, and find enough space you can see that it’s just things readjusting to enable you to take things to the next level.

ok, my laptop is dead. and ive had to cancel our first ever gig. and then my phone died. and ive got the debt collectors saying they are taking me to court, and ive got a stupidly horrific council tax bill, and ive got to somehow fill the coal ex on the 15th AND 16th september AND the q bar the week before… and come up with ideas tht will enable us to kick off QBAR thursdays in style… im knackered. drained. in need of a holiday.

SO!

since i have no contact with the outside world, i have been sorting through my flat as MAJA IS MOVING OUT!!! and ive got my pad back!!!!! dont mean to be rude, she is a star, a butey of a bird, but i just hate living with anyone. I NEED MY OWN SPACE, and now its coming back to me, AND RELAX!

maja seems really confident and happy at mo, probly excited about starting college and getting he own pad, and all that stuff, she sed she met sum spanish bloke at the airport on the way to swizzerland in the delays at the airport. and then said she shared a hotel with a swiss couple. i hope this is true, im a bit paranoid,.. as she seems different to usual. but fuck it. no point in losing the head now is it. ive done that throughout my 20s with nikki g and i aint NEVER GOING BACK!!!

so, if summink dodgy is happnin, so be it, i just move on. im probly just being a freak tho.

anyways, having a cunt of a week so far, but i know my saturn bullshit is coming to an end, and things are gonna be looking up very soon. i know it.

just gonna keep sorting my room out, and my paperwork and organising things as its keeping me sane in this FUCKED UP TRANSIT!

glad of a weekend off from sicknote. think i needed it.

x

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my shit

its just the universe making things ready and right for everything to move forward.

JEREMY acting like a coked up fucking idiot, pretended to sort out sicknote a gig, when in reality he was stumped for a band after captain paranoid pulled out of benny’s bikers bash and he was left without a booking…
he offered it to us, but we couldnt all do it..

he then repeatedly abused me by text, what a sad cunt. saying he’d worked his bollocks off sorting this one out for us, but one kwik call to the captain revealed he was feeding me a load of horse shit.

i txted back ‘peace & Love… jp.xx’ like he does to all the people on myspace, which a complete load of shit, as he is the most furious, coke munching, money grabbing fruit i’ve ever come across.

anyways, no hard feelings, he;s got a habit to feed, and a kid to bring up, so fairplay to him, i wish him luck, just as long as he leaves me out of his dealings its all good.

so it was pa’s bday on thursday, so i went up and met my folks and jim in the castle inn in caldi for a munch.
we ordered food, and were all chatting away, i gave dad a Taxi Tee, a Calzghe DVD and a Mars Bar, he didnt look too impressed.
that dvd cost me twenty fucking quid, and he didnt even raise a smile or a cheers! fuck it, then my food came first, and my bro decided to stick his fat, arse picking fingers right init and help himself to a handful of chips off my plate.

i seen red. we nearly killed each other at wendys 50th, after he was fingering the peas everyone had to eat.
and this was no different.
Get your grubby fucking fingers out of my fucking food you cock i spitted.
Fuck you you grumpy cunt he hissed back,
No, jim, Fuck you you fucking fucker,
chill out he said,
wait for your own fucking food and stop mauling everyfucker elses then, you spoilt prick.

oarh, come on now jase, sed mam, its ya father bday.

i know, but i hate fuckers fingering my fucking food.

whatever. that put a dampner on the night, maybe i overreacted, fuck nose, but i could see that he still thought he was right… so whatever, couldnt wait to get the fuck out of there,..

friday hired the car, brand new KA, looked gay as fuck, but was nippy as shit.
got to p&o’s at 3pm, and surprise, he had a face like a smacked fanny.

whats up butt?
my fucking projector isnt working.
this was the projector he just had flown in from usa for £270.

he looked gutted and sed he wasnt coming… i sed we’ll email the fuckers tomoro, but theres no reason not to come to gig, you know, they sed theres a projector there anyway,.

so i finally managed to get the miserable fucker in the car, and he opened the glove compartment to put in my paperwork.
inly to reveal a big fuck off blade, in a leather sheath, looked like a serious weapon.
what the fuck!? we both sed, he thought it was mine, but i had just came straight from the car rental place…

he put it in his house and we fucked off to pick up the doctor.
computer nick warned me not to have too much dodgy stuff in the car, so we emptied the drs pockets as much as we could so he wouldnt get to upset and we drove straight to the gig in west wales…

we arrived and the place looked huge. they told us that the event had sold out,
we got excited and thought theres gotta be room for 2 thousand people in there, all good…

we went for fish n chips and a pint, then all headed back to the site half hour before we were on, only to discover that there was more like 2 hundred people. mainly young teenagers…

oh, well, we got on the stage- done our business, the crowd seemed to go mental for it, the dr. flashed his cock which nearly induced me to kill the fucker… NO, MORE, COCK, YOU, FUckING, FREAK.

headed back and had some tea with matt, and called it a day…

saturday, and we had sum great feedback from the gig last night.

click here to see some snaps of the gig!

met in the yard with the dr, and gave him a bollocking for his actions, and told him to sort it out, or it will mean the END. he took it well.

then bumped into all the old underwood boys, all in welsh rugby tops, all FAT AS FUCK..

I mEAN huge.
coomy, mustve been 20 stone, and minchy not far behind him… fucking hugged em all had a coupla pints, and they disappeared, really lifted me up and made my day,.

ninj turned up and was making complete fucking sense as usual. i love this guy, he seems to talk more sense than everyone else i speak to, yet everyfucker says he;s mad. FAR FROM IT IN MY OPINION.

then sian turned up, with her crap expression, that was saying, i like you, and i am doing all i can in the background for you but really im just trying to be involved with what i can without actually doing anything.

then she said about ninj as he was speaking “hes on his own innhe?”

me and doghouse headed back to the flat to do some recording.

we tried setting stuff up in tommys room, and gave recording a blast, but it just wasnt happnin. doghouse then ranted for 22 minutes down the megaphone at very piercing and excruciating volumes, which completely finished me and tommy off, and after this i thought i couldnt go on, so i went and done summink else, feeling sick.

i know, that when we do record properly, we need to get doghouse’s vocals up crisp and load in his headphones, and he will be amazing, but as soon as he cant hear himself – well, its fucking straining and squawking so horrific and high pitched- that i really do feel like sticking the my head through my laptop.
we recorded ‘how do i find you’ in the winter in my room at very low volumes (cos the ox downstairs wanted to kill me).. and its one of the best results we’ve had. when we get it right, i think doghouse pisses all over mark e smith, james ‘pudding head’ murphy and lots of others…

anyways, what happened then… um laptop started crashing, went to see jimmy cliff- complete inspiration, that guys gott be coming up for 70, and he was jumping round the stage, and just looked so happy to be alive… i felt elated, and so did the other 10,000 people that was watching him with me!! stunning…
i bumped into Kaz, who has changed a lot since her year travelling and her kid(!) i used to really fancy her, and still find her very attractive, with that mad smile and mischievous glint in her eye, somewhat surpressed by her crusty boyf dragging her off though.

i chipped off and left doghouse to explore netty’s shop on his own, and i went home…

sunday, doghouse showed in the morn.

i dragged tommy out, and we headed for the mountains – wow, this is turning into a fucking novel..

SERMON ON THE MOUnT.

anyways, we got to the foot of the Brecon Beacons. And Tommy seemed up for it.

so we flew Penyfan like two rather fat white bullets. we must of hit the peak inside an hour. probly the fastest time ive done it in.

and there it is.

complete equilibrium.

no matter whats been fucking your head, no matter how you felt at the bottom.

you now feel like everything is sorted. with the wind blowing all the cobwebs from your brain, the view just sprawled out for miles in all directions putting everything into perspective, the sun beating on your face and the crows riding the air around you. theres not many places as refreshing as this, with the ability to make you feel like you reborn. truely fucking magical.

we shuffled down the mountain, and drove back to cardiff, listening to the sounds of the spiral brothers.

we went for a guiness and a roast in the bev and chipped back to the pad.

bit of a doze, and went to meet paul luare christoff and the posse, who were all still obviously recovering from christoff bday party on fri, and looking far too seroious.

we went up to see magic numbers, which i really enjoyed. went to pulse which i hated with a passion, and then dragged to buffalo where i felt suicidal.

shall i rant about this shit? maybe you should just go there and make up your own mind?

FUCKING BIGGEST SACK OF SHIT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I WILL NEVER EVER GO BACK.
unless i put my own PA in the place and give them sicknote in their fat crap posh faces.

saw, angarhad, shes got the best smile, totally lush,, she helped me cope. then staedler and waldorf swanning about chatting about how theyve signed to a huge european dance label, Fairplay and goodluck to them…
then i seen Gwyn, who seemed to be in a RAGE, as his misses flirted with people around the club, Gwyn dragged me outside and exploded in a pissed EPI of the most purple and veiny proportions…
i could empathise, as i remember being exactly the same when nikki was a complete fucking SLUT in front of me. I felt sorry for him, and thought he’s gonna have her in his head for a very long time, and im glad im not him!!!

it took me about 45 minutes to buy a round, then couldnt get out to the garden to give the round to paul and all, as it was 1 in 1 out. FUCK IN HELL… the Rock n roll was piercing my brain on the crappest soundsystem in cardiff that just eliminated any possibility of any conversation, or enjoyment for that matter. fcuk in hell, i should go on that program – grumpy old men, im starting to sound like the miserable bastards!!

any ways, we finally escaped, and headed to dorothys for a sausagein batter, then home to bed!!! YAY!!!! what a shit night!

bit of a lie in. off to swansea, met ste and checkd out his club sincity.. fucking wicked club. top bloke… learned a lot, and got sum posters round swansea. sorted. back and chilled. trying to get this piece of shit laptop to stay on… and it seems ok now, but it took fucking 4 hourws to switch it on. felt like launching it, wont be reliable enough to play the next coupla gigs.
need to sort summink out…. had sum great ideas about september gigs. bla bla bla bla, this is like old testament, i think i;ll give it a rest now… speak soon! laters….jfxxx

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my shit

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!

Coupla days feeling a bif ruff and fat and fucking useless really.

Been offered Q Bar Cheltenham now, which means theoretically, we could run two tantrum allnighters and earn a decent wage, might also be some possible Thursday night stuff, which could be very exciting.

just registered to 43things, an online ToDo list, have a look here:

43 THINGS

We were dropped from the Alabama 3 dates in Cardiff and Swansea, and no-one would claim responsibility, fucking useless.

We took the gigs off our Myspace and had mail from fans asking where they had disappeared to. i asked Sian what happened and she said we should never have put them on our Myspace in the first place. SHE TOLD ME TO PUT THEM UP THERE TWO FUCKNG WEEKS AGO. freak,
anyways, she hung up on me twice like a child. then i spoke to Alan Jones, who was really sound, he said he’ll find out for us.

I think it would be a better idea to set up an after party in the bay, and fuck em. useless.

Got my amp back off kath at fucking last, fucking useless.

Zonked out for a few hours and just got up feeling all bloated and grouchy, i need a holiday and some sea and some walking and shit…. very soon i think, maybe after october allnighter i could escape for a coupla weeks and go on a solo mission…

maja says she;s been trying to get me online, but everytime i see her online, she then suddenly goes off line.

RAAAAAAAARGH

want to go away.

gonna have a bath and listen to some music now, need to unwind. everyone’s getting on my tits.

x

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