the sicknote diaries

Bruce Springsteen is a Cunt

so, i’m back from portugal…. have a few beers with Steve Sub, and we end up in Ten Feet Tall and confirm just how pants we thought it was….. Next day Epidemic album finally arrives and the band get together to post the album out to all the Sickheads that pre-ordered it… which takes up most of the day and then it dawns on us that the Glastonbury tickets haven’t arrived as yet…..

I phone the production team at Arcadia in Glastonbury and it dont look too pretty, I search my flat inside out… but no tickets… then while on the toilet i notice an envelope in the airing cupboard… it is indeed a recorded delivery envelope addressed to Sicknote…. torn open with tickets missing….. I log onto the Royal Mail track a parcel we see that my flat mate Tommy Tank had signed for it, even though he can’t remember doing it, the day after i left for Portugal. The envelope has then made it’s way from whereever he put it to the bathroom and someone has taken said tickets…

I interrogate my flat mates as much as possible to finally find out there has been only two visitors in the flat since i left for holiday… so whodunnit? well…

Tommy Tank, Cosmo, Will Kilnaboy and Will Sweep – are the only four people that have been here all week.

So what do i do? Anyways, i will find out who stole £1050 worth of Glasto tickets from my home while i was away…
I won’t let this settle…. People can’t nick from my home, end of… and if my flat mates are inviting people in who steal from me, then something needs to be done… I phoned the pigs and they are coming to finger print the envelope and the suspects. And we’ll go from there…… next step though? YALE LOCK ON MY BEDROOM DOOR.

SO we decided to head off Friday night to Glastonbury, without our fucking tickets. We left Friday night because Filthy and Doghouse were bored as their girlfriends were busy, but they moaned enough so that they got their way… and we headed off in the Sickmobile. On the way to Rev and Flakey’s to get Conker and we got a phone call from some Glasto insiders…. “Get down here tomorrow and see what is possible in getting you in but whatever you do DO NOT say you are Sicknote, or they will be charging you full whack for entry as they have looked into the delivery of your tickets and they have been sigend for and as far as they are concerned you have your tickets.” WTF.

So, we decide to change the band name.. Filthy comes up with a classic, we all agree and from now on we are to be known as ‘SPUNK TRUNK’.

We have a night in Rev and Flakey’s and get mashed up dancing and laughing… top top night…

Spunk Trunk – coming to a festival near you.

So, after a heavy night, Spunk Trunk pile into the van and we head off to the festy to see if we can get in to play our fucking gig. We arrive at the festival and security are asking questions, we say we are Spunk Trunk from Bristol, and try various blags, but nothing seems to be working, and the security grow suspicious of us.. they park us up while they radio through to different people… what a fucking joke… Here we are sat outside the festival, when we are due to be playing at 10pm, and we can’t even say who we are.

A few hours pass and many phone calls to people on the inside.. finally a friend of the Filth’s come up with a result and comes out to meet us… he has two tickets…. The Filth and Dr Conker are in.
The ticket stubbs are sent out to us and we try but are turned away… fucking nightmare…
Finally we meet a lovely lady on who is a friend of a friend of a friend who cycles out to us and hands us a load of wrist bands which the 4 of us a manage to Sqqqqquuuueeeeeze onto our wrists and walk in. Spunk Trunk are in Glastonbury!!!

We head for the production office for Arcadia, secure our set and there is no mention of how we got in…
We set up camp and things look good, with the sun shining.. and everything on track… we head down to the stage and check it out.. unbelievable set up… the stage spits fire out, with circus folk hanging off various parts of it and two huge podiums extend out to above the crowd.. the soundsystem is fucking bumping and i would consider it maybe the best sound i have ever heard.. the bass throbbed through my rib cage and every one in the field danced…with room for about 5000 punters to squeeze in and watch the stage… everything’s set for the biggest gig of our lives.. and i’m buzzing… this is it.. what i dreamed off since i was 12. i congratulate the soundman on what is the best sound i have ever heard and he hugs me and can’t thank me enough….

The stage is set for Spunk Trunk.

we meet our Stage manager and a barrel of home-made cider is thrown at us… we are buzzing and everything is set..
There is a circus performance on before us and they begin their mental show…..
Everything is looking amazing…. but the sound has been turned down for some reason… and it is like WAY too quiet. i think maybe they are saving the volume for us… for the impact.
I go back to the soundman and ask him, and he puts his hand in front of my face……
Something aint right…. i go back to the Stage Manager and he looks depressed… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON…

he tells me that Glastonbury Security have been around and demanded that the sound be turned down on every soundsystem on site.. and he cant do ANYTHING about this… its lke 5 minutes before we go on.. and there is hardly any volume.
My arse drops out and i sit against the fence, my head in my hands in disbelief.

I tell the band what’s goin on.. Filthy starts ranting in my face about how fucking it dont fucking matter as long as we can hear it.. fuck the audience.. and i’m on the edge… feel like i’m about to hit the stupid cunt.

We get on stage.
Stage manager apologising all the way. i feel like we are about to embarrass ourselves in front of a load of people and i am shitting it.. shaking like a fucking leaf. Filhty enters stage hands in the air like some rock god. and P&O does the same with a Freddie Mercury stance, mic in hand…. Doghouse stumbles on stage, looking withered due to his heavy session last night. Conker bounces on.

WE delve into a 40 minute set and play our hearts out… P&O miming to nothing… Conker bouncing back and forth the podiums and Filthy spending 80% of the gig in front of Doghouse with his hands in the air…
the crowd out front having a chat with each other as there was NO VOLUME and i could see people chatting away, the odd body bouncing about, and several crowds wandering off… but NOT the reaction we would have had if we had any volume… gutted? not the word… fucking furious.


so we get off stage, and we are told that Bruce Springsteen had demanded that during his set every other soundsystem in Glastonbury get turned down. Nooooo. CANT BE FUCKING TRUE. the story is confirmed by other people back stage. yes, indeed. WE had well and truly been FUCKED BY THE BOSS.

So does this mean he told Michael Eavis to turn everyone down? And Micheal sent out his troops to do as ‘the boss’ told him?
Was Bruce scared that other stages would be better than him? Did Michael turn down Pendulum who were playing at the same time? What is the explanation for this complete fucking joke?

I’m in complete disbelief and fuming with the gig, and filthy gets in my face ‘get over it’ and ‘be professional’ and llaaa laaa laa.
i stick my nose on his and tell him the only fucking reason he is in the band is so he can tell his fucking mam he made it as a rockstar and that he doesnt even like sicknote and that he cant fucking drum i spit a nasty: “FUCK OF YOU CUNT” in his face before i disappear off into the night to get away from the band, who i just want to kill right now.

I bump into some friends and eat a massive lump of Mud, me and Balb head for the Greenfields after a chat with Ohno Yoko. We stumble upon a band called Ten Tonne Toungue, who in my muddy haze, elevate me, enlighten me and take the roof off and make my festival…
we stumble round the site, i manage to find some real meat (£6) ,a beer (£3.90) and some fags (£7.50)….money grabbing cunts…………………………we wander until sunrise and everything seems better by the morning… as the sun cracks open the night my mind wobbles as a huge wave of stillness gabs hold of it. Fuck it. Our time is not now.

Bruce, you CUNT!


my shit

portugal – glastonbury

ok so i got home from a week in portugal yesterday… had a few beers with Steve last night,,, walked around cardiff today and off to Glastonbury Festival tomorrow….Sicknote playing 10pm on Arcadia, Saturday night, next to Alex Metric, Freq Nasty, Evil Nine, Dreadzone and many more….
News on the clubs…. SUB cardiff, manchester and glasgow all GO GO GO !!!!!! we are now running 3 clubs… 3 countries. class.

got a pad full of ideas out in portugal……

the main thing i learned by having so much space is that i need to integrate hedonism into my working life. like have a holiday everyday, while working….
I was also visited by Johnny Marr(!) in a dream, really vivd he offered some great advice for me…. and made me realise that time is ticking and i have alot to do…. and that i must stay single, to achieve it,… stop messing people about, and messing my own head up and getting it all wrong…. he made me realise that NOW is the time…. this is my time. amazing trip, far too much to talk about here…. will add more notes soon.


my shit

The End of the World…


tomorrow i get my break that i been gagging for all year…
i managed to get a cheap flight to Portugal, after the car hire company accidentally paid me my deposit back twice after a sicknote weekend a few weeks back. SAFE!

Just looked at where i’m off and planned a little adventure…

i land in FARO in Portugal and have decided to walk to a town called Sagres, approx 120km… about right for 7 days and considering how fucking fat i am at mo…

my planned journey by foot. (click to enlarge)

a short walk from Sagres is a place called Cape St Vincent.. which was also known as ‘The End Of The World’ until the discovery of the Americas. I plan on getting here and sorting my head out in silence…

Cape St Vincent, The end of the World.

i am also half way through Sicknote instrumental track, which i may call ‘The End Of The World’ or maybe ‘Promontorium Sacrum’ (the end of the world where the waters of the ocean boil at sunset) as it was known by the Romans…

i am in 2 minds on whether to finish this track and stick it out bfore i leave first thing in the morning for my flight… or shall i relax and finish the track when i get home…?

the sicknote diaries

Band Sells one of it’s Members on Ebay

In a move not seen in them music industry before now, Welsh anarchic psychic-techno punksters, Sicknote have decided to auction off one of their band members on Ebay.

“Tough times have forced us to sell our dancer on Ebay in order to sustain the band”, said Sicknote mouse-fiddler, Johan.

Here is the Ebay post description:

‘We are selling Dr Conker!
that’s right, Sicknote’s infamous dancer is up for grabs….
The winning bidder will get to keep the doctor for 24 hours and he will be delivered FREE of charge to your doorstep in the Sickmobile, chauffered by the one and only Dickie Balboa….

The lucky winner can the ‘use’ the good doctor in anyway you see fit. eg. Cleaning, Sex, Spiritual Guidance, Councelling, Drug Partners or indeed he will dance.. for you, or maybe he could dance in your band or you could send him as a gift to a loved one… or indeed one of your enemies with instructions on what he should do upon arrival. Anyway the options are endless…. The dr will do ANYTHING for the 24 hours that you own him. NO RESERVE get bidding.

details of date and location an be sorted after the auction…

bidders outside the UK must cover flight costs. Thanks…’

“If there are any drugs involved, I would like to make absolutely clear that YOU have to supply them. If it’s sex your thinking, then being a gay man, i can only turn straight for you if the winning bid is over £1000.”, said Dr Conker.

The move comes after the band offered their entire catalogue for free on the internet, and through organising lots of it’s own FREE parties and not generating any real income – trying to offer the punter no barriers in accessing their rather peculiar world.
The buzz has grown due to the extent of free stuff the band have been offering to their tribe and everyday there seems to be hundreds more Sicknote converts. The epidemic is truly spreading.

Have you got the bug yet?

place your bids HERE NOW…..
auction ends 25th June 2009.

Join the Sicknote tribe here.

beat the music industry


wikipedia: “Ergonomics is the science of designing the job, equipment, and workplace to fit the worker. Ergonomics is concerned with the ‘fit’ between people and their work. It takes account of the worker’s capabilities and limitations in seeking to ensure that tasks, equipment, information and the environment suit each worker.”


Im not a worker. im an hedonist. and its not a workplace its a bedroom…
so i need to change the word to adapt the new meaning..

Shirkonomincs? yes that’s it……

Shirk: “to avoid work or other responsibilities because of laziness”
Shirkonomics: “Shirkonomics is the science of designing the furniture, equipment, and chillout space to fit the hedonist. Shirkonomics is concerned with the ‘fit’ between people and their hedonism. It takes account of the hedonist’s desires, dreams, habits, capabilities and limitations in seeking to ensure that tasks, equipment, information and the environment suit.”

look out for a post later today about how i am going to transform my space into the ultimate flapsandwich pod.


my shit

why am i so psychotic at the moment?

Decking Johnny last week (P&O), snapping at Filthy last night in Tanglwst and telling him to shut the fuck up and Tommy telling me that him and Cosmo think i’ve not been myself lately.. and that he’s been avoiding me.

WHAT the fuck is going on!?

Luckily i got a week in Portugal by myself next week, to work it all out.