life

NINJAH ‘RAAAAAAAW’ REMIX COMPETITION

Tantrum

DO YOU LIKE IT RAW STYLEE?

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Here is the REMIX COMPETITION for NINJAH‘s latest single RAW, CUT OFF DATE for all remixes is now January 11th 2014…

DOWNLOAD THE STEMS HERE. THE SONG IS 109 BPM…..

The most inventive and banging remix will win a place on NINJAH’S NEXT RELEASE, a RAW T-SHIRT, A SIGNED NINJAH PHOTO and  other NINJAH goodies…

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UPLOAD YOUR REMIXES HERE. All remixes must be uploaded there, or they will not be entered into the competition!
NINJAH AND TANTRUM RECORDS WILL LISTEN TO EVERY REMIX,
A WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED Mid January

https://soundcloud.com/groups/raw-remixes

any questions email jason@tantrumrecords.net

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life, my shit

DO YOU LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE?

Ninjah Jason 02

Thinking the other day, what do i love about this place, Cardiff, i been living in for 13 years?
‘Fuck all’ sprung to mind initially. But, you know, it’s that sort of thinking that makes a place shit. Manchester and Bristol and Berlin are legendary because when you go there everyone bigs it up, they love it, accept it, with all it’s flaws and this attitude makes the place fucking buzz and grow. Even if it is a shit hole, the attitude seems to overcome, and ignite a magic into the streets and minds of everyone who visits.

Lots of people you talk to in Cardiff say it’s shit, i’ve been guilty of it myself. I’ve had my ups and downs here, made lots of enemies and lots of great friends. Organised hundreds of events and been lucky to have been involved with some amazing people and projects.

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Maybe it’s time to big up our City and learn to love the place where we reside. Put this place on the map, as the friendliest and most unique place in the UK, The capital city of Wales. A fucking gem….. With friendly weird folks, huge parks, wonderful street characters, independent businesses, local artists and bands, arcades and markets, people from all over the world, loads of graffiti popping up and more and more people organising their own stuff. Our city is full of character, let’s hope it keeps growing that way……

Welcome to Planet Cardiff.

check out the new shizzle i been working on with my mate here… http://goo.gl/R8Bw8k

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life, my shit

Kung Fu Mama!

Why did i hate my Mam so much? I was 16, she kept poking her head in my room. And i was fuming. Knock knock,, then Mam’s head. “Jase, Its 730” “GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF MY ROOM !!!!”

Knock Knock, Jase, THE NEIGHBOURS ARE COMPLAINING,. Knock Knock, Jase can yo turn it off your brothers are trying to watch home and away”, Knock Knock Jers………… ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i was reminded of this story after posting this the other day about being a little shit of a teenager, with a 2k rig in my bedroom. 

I just wanted to play music and have some privacy. But was i allowed? NOPE! I had to go to college. Get a job, Get out. do this Do that, Tidy up, Turn it down, Stop speaking this way, be quiet. aaaarrtgghhhhghghghghh

So, i conjured up a cunning plan. i bought a fat arsed Lock. I screwed and drilled the thing to my bedroom door. It was an inner lock that bolted across and into a sturdy iron loop. then you pulled the bolt down and it was secure. Voila. No more irritating heads popping into my room and disturbing me.

A few weeks later me and the boys were in my room, spinning some of my new records on my carpeted DJ console, the speaker stack was about as quiet as i could get it (honest).

The window was open and we were smoking spliffs and hagning out. Jaaaasooon! i heard in the distance. Jase. I kept hearing her feintly in the background, thinking its all good, the door is locked i dont need to worry. Then from the bottom of the stairs again. I turned it down. “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?” i screamed “MMM M M M M” i coulnt understand what the hell she was mumbling. I cranked up the tune again. And took a fat drag of the splinter my mate had just passed me.

Suddenly there was an almighty bang. I blew out a torrent of smoke and through one squinting eye witnessed my new lock explode into pieces, followed by splinters of the door frame exploding all over the room, followed by my mams fluffy pink slipper, which was attached to my chubby little welsh Mam, in mid air, doing a full-on flying kick. the door cracked open wide and she flew in, in slow motion, and landed into the middle of my tiny box room, in a Van Damme pose, arms held up and legs slightly squatted. She steadied her self and pulled a gnarly expression. “RRRRRRRIGHT!!!!!! she said, and flicked a violent look into my one squinting pink eye.

My mate lifted the needle off the deck and we all stood bemused in a blanket of surreal silence. We looked at each other a few times and then erupted into a unified roar of laughter. “THATS ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!!!” my mam said while grabbing me by my quiff.

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She dragged me down the stairs by my hair, my eye watering. She flung me out of the front door and kicked me up the arse with her fluffy slipper. and the boys followed, all of them arched over in stitches of laughter. “AND DONT COME BACK!!!” she shouted as she slammed the door and locked it. we all walked up the street pissing ourselves, wondering if that had really just happened.

Kung Fu Mam: 1

Teenage Twat: NIL

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life

Is My Penis Too Small?

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Who knows? I’ve not compared it with any others. I’m not a big fan of looking at them. I’ve seen some on pornos, but they probably hire big ones. I’ve accidentally seen some in real life, most of them flaccid and tiny.

Are you worried about how yours looks? This is a wide spread mental ailment these days. Not physical, but mental. Physically, no matter what the shape or size, it will still probably achieve it’s purpose. The woman’s G Spot is 2 inches up inside. So if your penis is under 2” erect, then you’re in trouble – unless you substitute your micro-penis for a finger or a toe or something. But you will probably still be able to impregnate her. And you will still be able to urinate. Therefore, as long as your manhood protrudes somewhat, it should be sufficient to do all you need it to do. Saying that, the average penis size according to NHS direct (yeah i phoned them to ask) is between 4” and 6”. Don’t worry that is erect.

When your willy is flaccid it can shrink to all sorts of shapes and sizes, depending on how cold it is, how tired you are, your mental state and what drugs you have been boshing. Also there is the phenomena of the Show-er vs the Grower. A shower looks big when flaccid, but doesn’t grow much when hard. If you have a grower, obviously it may look a little shrivelled, but surprises everyone when its time to stand to attention.

Regardless of all of this many men are still fixated on the size of their penis. They seem to obsess over it not being ‘right’. The added pressure of pornos displaying big fat veiny cocks, and women’s seemingly overall vocal consensus that ‘size matters’ does nothing to help men’s self esteem. And so penis enlargement is a massive industry.

A lovely chap recently proposed to his girlfriend at a televised basket ball game. She said NO, on camera. It was uploaded to youtube. 10 million views in 4 days. And it hit the news. To add insult to inujry when he asked her why, she said “your penis is too small.”

Unhung Hero is a cockumentary made by ‘pickle dick’ Patrick Moote, and follows his mental torture following these events. He decides he wants to increase his penis size so that he can be happy. He travels the world looking for a solution. He takes the tablets, pumps his penis, does some ‘jelqin’, hangs some weights off it and then………

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He has a total mental collapse and wants to call the entire film off. He feels the whole world is laughing at him and his tiny dick. Then a total breakthrough upon meting a gay chap. This guy was was totally cool with his partner’s small todger, the only problem was, his partner wasn’t. And his partner’s constant dissatisfaction with his own penis, and constant obsessive complaining drove them apart.

I could relate on many levels, not with the tiny cock thing, my misses measured mine and it’s above average – for a hobbit. But i could relate with the whole idea of being dissatisfied with ourselves, or parts of ourselves. I always struggled with my appearance, and have been cripplingly shy through-out my life because of it. Only helped by excessive drink and other forms of escape. I unfortunately did go through with some dodgy surgery, which i now regret. I regret it because it didn’t fix the problem. The problem was not external. And when Pickle Dick was waiting for his surgery i found myself shouting at the screen, “NOOOOOOOO DON’T DO IT!”

Happiness does not come about from changing ourselves externally. It comes from accepting ourselves, and learning to work with what we have. The most attractive people are the ones who accept themselves most outrageously. That is charisma.

‘Celebrate your wrong bits’ is a phrase i came up with a few years ago, and i struggle every day to live by it.

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