my shit

I Get These Bad Days…

So after too much drink and too much takeaway shit food, while on the run, i hit a brick wall.

Earlier this week, after a a great weekend away for Doghouse’s Birthday Bash… i i ate a dodgy fishcake from a chippy in Canton. The next morning i was walking through the park and my insides decided to splatt out on a near by tree. and again . and again. 9 spues later i was back in my bed. and for 2 days i couldn’t move. All i could do was groan. Intermitted with irritating phone calls from chatty irritating people….i weren’t feeling too good.

I managed to pick up the misses from the airport and realised as i arrived i felt exactly the same way last time i picked her up… i was puking in a hedge and had to cancel the Sicknote in Lakota gig i remembered. and now exactly the same feeling. odd. what the fuck is going on…? i hope i aint dying but i seem to be fuckin ill a lot lately. i’ll get checked out n let you know…we got back to cardiff. and i had to get into bed and groan some more.

From my sick bed i decided to have a bash at re-rubbing that practically unknown Charlatans’ tune ‘BAD DAYS’.

Now i love this tune as is is.. but it was the intro that always stunned me to a silence, the rest of the track is mint but the intro had such a huge dark overpowering resonating hug for my mind….i just wanted to take this…. and make it more Euphoric and repetitive and banging.. and make people go nuts on the dancefloor but still keep the darkness. Dark and Euphoric? yeh! anyways…

i spent a while fuckin round with it between sleep and stomach pains feeling fackin ruff. fucksake init. then a car screached outside the window and we heard a thump n a whimpering yelp. FUCK!!!!!

a dead dog was quickly covered in a blanket and a woman wept upon it…

Bad Days

download the tune free FOR YOU: here
the video was nicked from a very talented and awesome film maker by the name of DJ
show some love by subscribing to his channel here,

drop us a comment and let me know what ya think init. safe


The Truest Voice


wow. this post about listening and trusting your inner voice has just blown my mind. it was written by Chris Brogan today and has come just at the right time for me. with several questions i have bouncing around my head i was struggling to get answered i stumbled across the post ‘Your Loudest Voice‘ and felt compelled to expand on it and explain how what Chris talks about works for me.


When you are Stuck do you find yourself asking everyone you know for the answer to your dilemma? Have you struggled finding your true path in life? Then made complete wrong turns by listening to other’s brilliant advice – often people who really care about you? They try to keep you on a path that is wise or makes more sense to them. I had several years of trying to please various people… thinking they knew best.


Only after many years of doing things i hated i realised i must listen to the higher force, my own personal god, or my inner voice if you will. i see it as a infinitely wise being that is all and knows all and is connected to all. it is the universe. and the only way to connect with the all knowing universe is via your mind, as your mind is a mini-universe and is the same thing. nothing. and everything. space. the mind is a universe in your head. it is connected to the main universe, which in turn is connected to everything else… so all questions asked by the mind can be answered by the all knowing universe, with no warped sense of perception that other people will always have.


we need to learn how to connect to the higher force. and there are a few ways.

1. travel (without plans)
2. doing what you love
3. helping others
4. silence / breathing / nature
i have not found any more as yet. but these things definitely open up the channels to the universe and show you the way. 
The problem with other people’s advice is often they are trying to get you to be safe because they care about you. i can think of several examples in my life where people have genuinely tried to stop me doing shit i love because they were worried about me. Completely ridiculous! i have several examples coming to mind where friends and family have ill-advised me as they are seeing it from a certain angle – THEIR ANGLE! have you had this happen in your life? and then acted on it to please the people around you!?? 
I think the right advice CAN come from people if you are in one of the connecting modes listed above. The universe can send you signals to help you on your way, be it books, songs, people, signs……..but your frame of mind needs to be right to receive these. 
If you are just desperately asking people for advice or listening to people because you feel lost then you are in a position to take any advice that comes your way. i suggest you block out all noise and connect to the universe. Use one of the techniques above, they have all worked for me. The danger of not tuning into the real answer is that you will end up doing things that make sense to other people and not your core belief, morals and passion.
The Portal to The Higher Force
well yeah, maybe! but it works for me. i can even see the portal that connects my mind to the universe. It’s like a green comma in the distance of my mind. a bit like the vodaphone logo(!) it’s like a plug hole to the bigger universe… and when i connect it spins!! no shit!! ok i’m losing you now………
but the truth is, any which way you chose to go it doesn’t really matter and there are goodies along each path you might end up on. So just connect, listen, go with your instinct and enjoy the ride!
Ps. had some really tough decisions to make lately and as much as ALL my friends advise me the same thing my instinct is saying the OPPOSITE!! My girlfriend is away so i came to her empty silent flat and bam!! there was my sign to help me come to a decision…. so i thank you Chris Brogan for writing a truly inspiring post today.

Being Sad / Losing CTRL

“People feel happy to the degree we feel in control of our lives…”

 – but we give away our happiness by blaming circumstances we cannot control.”

-Rick Butts

Do you think there is any truth in this statement? Would you agree……?

Why do we insist on concentrating on things that are out of our control?

Have you ever been angry at someone who doesn’t even know you’re angry at them? Or angry at your finances? A bill? A dodgy driver on the road? An irritating business colleague? Piss-taking friends?
Have you ever been angry at stuff that you can’t control? Is there really anything you can do to change these things? Or is it just pointless giving them energy and robbing yourself of your potential happiness?

By concentrating on the things we can control and getting them right, every small detail… then we can begin to bring a state of control and happiness into our lives, and no-one can mess with this.

“What is happiness?”: many have tried to decipher this only to realise it’s completely immeasurable and means different things to different people, and different things to the same person depending on where they are viewing if from. But for the sake of keeping things simple, maybe we can begin to find some happiness when we let go of the things we can’t control and make sure the things we can control are how we want them to be.

Check out these great videos from Rick Butts, and drop us any thoughts below.

beat the music industry

promoting your music: SOUNDCLOUD vs YOUTUBE

There’s so many places to promote your music online… with a Premium Soundcloud account, a facebook music account, ilike, reverbnation, myspace, fuckin spotify, myband, itunes, and osama knows what else.It all get’s a bit confusing after a while.. but after scanning Tantrum Records stats we can safely say…  none of the above have been quite as powerful as Youtube! YES, youtube…

The reason why it’s so good for music is that:
1. It’s the 3rd most visited website in the WORLD!
2. Loads of people use it to listen to music.
3. It’s very easy to share videos to LOTS of other websites.
4. It’s FREE
This here is my most watched video on my youtube account:
just touching 20,000 views… The same song on soundcloud (which costs us £315 a year to host our music on) we have had 83 plays. The other problem with soundcloud is that it’s FULL of producers… so you’re pushing your music to people who make music, I mean what’s the point, right?
I would also go as far as saying DON’T WORRY ABOUT MAKING A VIDEO on youtube! Literally don’t bother! people use it as a jukebox… so unless you really are making something that is really entertaining and putting some effort into it.. just slap your audio up and a jpg of your logo as the video… this is easy enough in most video software.
I remixed La Roux a while back, i had no video, so just slapped my logo on it and……………
hey presto, almost 2,000 plays… the same song on soundcloud?
81 plays.
Here is a breakdown of the actual figures for my Tantrum Records’ Soundcloud vs Youtube:
TOTAL PLAYS: 375,391
So, to summarise…. 
the sicknote diaries

The 3rd Scottish Leg

So… It’s Sunday night….. I’m in the van… in the back with the equipment, I’ve just pissed in a bottle. The rest of the crew is up front half asleep and the atmosphere is weird coz Filthy just fuckin lost it coz we got ripped off by Scotland again, and in his fuming state, spat on doghouses head.

We are heading back to Cardiff…. Only about 8 hours to go(!) I’m writing this on my laptop and will post up on my blog when I get home…

What a feckin weekend.

Friday was boiling in Cardiff – the continuing Indian summer was boiling up and up and we all felt great. 8 hours in the sickbus with Stevie G at the controls with his new chauffeurs hat on, and we were in Glasgow – pissing it down. Absolutely pissing it! Yet another Sicknote holiday in the rain while everyone back home enjoys a fuckin heatwave! Lucky Baaaastards!

The nice folk at Pivo Pivo sorted us a few pizzas and a few grolsch.. and the venue filled up nicely. some nice bands played including The Sneaky Russians, Pablo Eskimo and the Girobabies all of which done the business. wicked stuff. 
We were introduced on stage by a true Scotsman, in a black kilt and a huge earring which had his earlobe dangling somewhere near his arse…. his name: Haggis…….He introduced us by busting a one man symphony on his bagpipe…
then, WOMP the bassline from ‘Ectoplasmic’ induced a warm spunky woop from the guts of the crowd… Then BAM the beat kicks in.
Then cue The Filth,  BANG.  The place went insane as Doghouse screamed the immortal freaky line “IS THERE ANYBODY THERE?” with bloodcurdling screams of “YES!!” belted back at him.

Rave Heart, a nutter and mega-fan with his own nickname tattooed on his face, well he pounced on to stage sporting a new head, I can only compare him to a tattooed biblical mad man. like Moses on crack, he was going nuts on stage half undressed, and everyone was shouting their disapproval at him as he grabbed Doghouse and chucked beer everywhere. 

Then some skinny bird got up and started mopping Doghouses brow with her sleeve. As we built the tension with harder, nastier but still somehow euphoric tunes the crowd began to erupt…. Haggis fell over onto stage with his bagpipe in his mouth and balls in the air…. then two women were stripping centre stage, then they were kissing each others face off, pouring beer over each other’s heads half naked. and then they fell over on stage almost cracking their heads open on my monitor speaker. the bouncer then joined in on stage and tried to calm it all down – only making matters worse as Rave Heart teased him, then the bar girl joined in, then fucknose who… then i managed to WHACK my head on a wall and was squeeling in pain…. it felt like i was in Hell, and Hell was fuckin good. Rave Heart then decided to punch some random people……. Wtf!!! beards, baps and black-eyes everywhere my head spun as the crowd from front to back were bouncing, stood on tables and wooping……..What an almighty mess.

We were invited to about 43 different after parties. There were randoms hanging off us, kissing us and dragging us in all directions… Rave Heart kissed me on the face and whispered in my ear that he was getting a tattoo of my head on his left tit next week… WTF!!! We got in the van with about 16 random people trying to get in with us, Filth slammed the door in a rage nearly taking Sunday’s gig promoter, Bri’s fingers clean off. As we pulled off Rave Heart was in the middle of the road trying to stop us but Stevie G swerved him and we made our escape.
We headed back to promoter Mark’s and got wrecked up in his flat. He looked after us well with beers and goodies fairplay to him, a great welcome and a great host. His misses and him spoke so fucking much tho….. Like no breather. Just RABBLING on in Scottish – my head was fuckin killing. all the travel, madness, beer, and volme at the gig was taking it’s toll………Ouch SHHHH shut the fuck up! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. just kept ranting on……must be speed, gotta be. “Hemina Shema EEma moo gaa Meheh me megh unm adjajall”
I boshed half a pill to try to escape the Scottish babbling and huge headache that was beginning to take a grip. Half hour later we were in a warehouse. Loads of people and a fat soundsystem ….wicked vibe. I love the vibe in Glasgow. The people just seem bang up for it even if I cant understand a word they’re saying…
Stevie G kept gripping my coat and begging “Don’t leave me” – dunno what the fuck was wrong with him so after a while me, him and Johnny walked back to the pad and crashed out for an while…. leaving Lionel to look after Doghouse who was outside hugging a billboard….  which he believed was his misses, talking to her in depth and gently fondling her.
Lost it! The alcohol, sleep deprivation and missing the love of his life had spawned a psychosis which helped along with 5 years fronting Sicknote was fingering his brain……. they all came back woke us up and off with the Scottish ranting again but this time there were loads of them….. I cannae understand a fuckin word! They were all half naked and dancing to shit music so I took a stroll into town for some food with the rest of the  crew…. Then off we fucked to Kaleidoscope Festival in Fife.
image by Norris Nuvo

We arrived at a really pleasant festival full of posh hippies in tweed n shit. Very tame and nice almost the complete opposite to last night. This gig had been cancelled last week due to shit ticket sales. As we did not have a contract or fuck all we were cancelled and there was nowt we could do. We then managed to get the gig back on by agreeing to waive our 600 quid fee and play for just petrol – fuckin useless. 

We got some food and beer and took in the festival, it was pissing down constantly. The main stage was in a huge barn with  a fat soundsystem, it was really well put together and a great set up. i relaxed knowing that we had a good show ahead of us…..
I bolted some mud n cider and we hit the stage at 2am, suddenly realising i was completely smashed. We got the place bouncing even though I made loads of mistakes and Johnny’s lead he lent me kept cutting out,  but the 500 or so happy punters bounced, there was a great vibe in the barn…..Doghouse and Filth were bang on form, Conker and Lionel had loads of space to do their freaky dancing, the visuals looked amazing on a huge screen behind us, and Stevie G was even dressed up and half on stage…….. I was the weakest link, goodbye.  After they prematurely announced it was to be our last tune i upped the pace by dropping RIGHTEOUS to which the place went nuts to 🙂 twas a great gig. 
Afterwards we hit a guy called Maf’s bus, a freaky festival head with a safe as fuck vibe, and necked more mud and brandy till they were completely fed up of us and kicked us out in the rain…. It was 5am, we had nowhere to go, nowhere to sleep. Me, Doghouse and Johnny found a fire and stood around while getting soaked by the relentless rain. Just before daybreak we discovered a fat Yurt a with a woodburner and cuddled up in there for some kip and almost dried off…
We headed off to Edinburgh in the soggy afternoon and Filth was on one….. Laughing his tits off and ripping the piss out of everything…… Licking my soiled pants out of my bag, calling Doghouse Grandma has he snoozed in the back, and abusing people out of the window… fucknose what he was on!
In Edinburgh we left Doghouse and Lionel asleep in the van and went off and found a pub and had a haggis and a Guinness to try and restore some energy into our saggy spirits….

At the venue, ‘The Store‘, a small posse of nutters turned up. There were more people backstage drinking our fucking rider than were out front in the venue… 
We necked a load of Stella got on the tiny stage, slammed into a banging set and the 30 people went wild!!! some geezer by the name of Sean O’Hara kept screaming out ‘E in my A Hole’….. i dug it out and as i dropped it Filth came out from behind his kit, shook up a Stella and opened it in Sean’s face and squeezed the entire can into his eyes : he fucking loved it!

The bouncer, a big polish meat ball, kept trying to cut us off early, we played till he looked like he was gunna implode.. then backstage he was trying to drag us out before we even packed up. “5 minutes 5 minutes!!” he kept shouting at us, while standing in the doorway  i said “well leave us alone for 5 minutes then you bellend.”

We signed a load of merchandise vinyl flyers everything. then on the way out.. the bouncer gripped me and said “why you call me bellend” and looked like he was going to plant me. i shat it. i said “sorry mate” and luckily he let me go. phew.
We asked for some money and Bri told us there was fuck all money.
We got in the van I said there was no fuckin cash. Then I tried collecting the merch money from Filth and Lionel. I got a tenner. when we just signed about fucknose how many fucking vinyls. so where the fuck did the money go? Or did everyone just help themselves to the merch?
What the?
illustration by sam watterson

This is when Filth LOST it.

“Ive been telling you for fucking years to join the fucking PRS you cunts!!!”
“You need to sort your shit out you cunts!!!”
“I got a fuckin family to fuckin feed”
“You’re fuckin useless the lot of you”
Screaming and clenching – looking like a strained purple adolescent bollock – he suddenly spat on Doghouse head…. wtf! Doghouse lost it back at him and the whole van descended into a shouting and balling fucking disastrous end to a blinding weekend.
We shared out the pennies.

Basically 300 from Pivo, 350 from Kaleidoscope and fuck all from Edinburgh…. 
normally we get 600-1k a gig plus travel.

so when you weigh up all the effort put in, 340 quids worth of petrol, then smokes, food, drink and shit….. we ended up with fuck all each. So understandable why the boys were fucked off. Ah well, lessons learned. 


I curled up in a ball with all the equipment in the boot of the new sickbus……. Woke up and i was in Cardiff . bonus. Stevie G done the entire journey and another 2 hours back to his pad in one night. What a fucking legend. 

I got off at Johnnys as I fancied an early morning walk into town to get some fresh air, the sun was just squeezing a warm orange tickle onto my face as it began to rise above our homes. I popped into Johnny and Ady’s.. and get offered a cuppa for a change, got to be the first time ever!!!! I swig it down as I was thirsty, and was greeted with some fat lumps of gone off milk. They slipped down my neck like the spunk of a mammoth, i gulped in disgust….
I felt ill after a heavy weekend, the last thing i wanted to eat was gone off lumps of cow puss this morning……… I left, spued on the pavement outside and fucked off home to bed.

Another weekend of sickness has taken it’s toll on my rotund, quivering, pimply fucked-up body. My mind is cracked and lost and sensitive…. Why do we do this to ourselves?

cue 3 days of sleep.