my shit, the sicknote diaries

Conker Tribute Tee


Amazing New T-Shirt to remember the legend, Dr Conker –
Ltd to 100 T-shirts, selling out very fast.
get yours now here

also new Breaking Bad style “Chemistry” Tee just in stock, i fucking loves it…


So You Want To Be a Writer

by Charles  Bukowski.

if it doesn’t come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don’t do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
searching for words,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it for money or
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don’t do it.
if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,
don’t do it.
if you’re trying to write like somebody
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you’re not ready.

don’t be like so many writers,
don’t be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don’t be dull and boring and
pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
over your kind.
don’t add to that.
don’t do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don’t do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don’t do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.



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Trying to second guess what your audience wants will often result in art that fails to connect.

The best art is an expression of some deep honest feeling. The artist has shut out the rest of the world and portrayed something very personal. The paradox of creativity is that the closer to our individual core we can get, the more likely it is to resonate with others.

We need to kick the wolf in the teeth and make sure he doesn’t come around bothering us when we are in the flow. We must have our basics covered from another source.

Alleviate the worry of whether our art will be liked by others, or whether it will make us any money. Only then we can be free to roam the vast expanse of our imagination, hunting for true inspiration.


Capturing Ideas in the Shower!


Often when i am in the shower inspiration comes galloping along. I try to capture it, but it often escapes me.

It must be the combination of the sound of flowing water, the feeling of it dripping down my head and body, the lack of disturbances, the hot water relaxing me and the fact i am physically grounded to the earth. But it’s true – i often get a run of amazing ideas. I tend to forget the early ones or often forget everything by the time i get dried and into my bedroom.

With inspiration we must capture it as soon as it presents itself, as quickly and as honestly as possible. Or it can be gone within a split second never to return again. The Artists job is to grab it, wrestle it and drag it kicking and screaming into reality before it goes off on its merry way.

This is obviously difficult to do when naked, covered in soap, underwater and without any tools to help capture it. I think i have lost thousands of these little ideas. To solve my problem i came across a great bit of kit in the shape of a bit of diving equipment known as a Diver’s Slate for only £9.

WTF! yeah got some strange looks from the misses when this turned up in the post. But i can now write underwater! Meaning i can capture all the great ideas i get in the shower and clip off the board and bring into my studio with me.

Loving it.

divers slate

creation, life



It seems from yesterday’s post like i am someone who shuts my eyes to the worlds problems and i understand if people are offended by this. This is true, I never buy papers, threw my TV away 6 years ago and i hide in a bubble of my own making.

But let me explain further why i must be this way.

I feel a duty to contribute. Be it in creating things, helping others out, giving away free music for people to enjoy, writing and relating to people and organising events.

I would find it completely impossible to contribute anything of value if i was to lose myself in the news on a daily basis. I’m not saying we need to be ignorant to everything but we must be selective in what we allow in and be aware of what it does to our state of mind.

I sometimes watch my dad getting his negativity fix when i visit him. He sits there with a newspaper full of bad news. Watching a 55″ TV with a box in one corner with a woman barking bad news at him. Across the bottom is scrolling text of the financial ruin of the world. And scrolling next to the woman vertically is a selection of the worst shit happening in short handy synopsis form. All his sensory inputs are being invaded by all the problems of the world. After sitting there for about 28 seconds i feel a massive black cloud coming over me and i physically cower and want to curl up and die. If i was to spend each and every day filling my being with this shit i would be in a very dark place.

This dark place i fear would make it very difficult for me to create and contribute anything worthwhile to the world i live in. If the world is really as fucked up as the media is showing us then what is the best thing for us to do about it?

We could learn all about it, do nothing, and moan about it to everyone we see. But what difference would that make to anyone? A more positive approach may be to block the bad shit out, get into an excellent state of mind and then create amazing things which contribute to our world and actually help to make it a better place.


Media and The Moaning Masses…

I am ignorant. Ignorant to the problems of the world. I simply cannot let all that shit into my sphere. Once a week a friend updates me on all the troubles of the world. We sit in a pub for 2 hours and i get my update… and it’s depressing. I have no choice in this, he doesn’t want to talk about anything else. I would much rather get some projects going and talk of things we could plan and do together to contribute something positive to the world, but he wants to talk about the news. This is my only connection to the outside world. I live completely in my own bubble.

I often wonder how it was before the media. Were people just concerned with their own lives? How did people manage without the bad news from all over the planet?

I am ignorant for purely selfish reasons. To protect myself from feeling like shit. I have lots of problems of my own, i don’t want to take on the worlds problems too! I care a lot about the people in my sphere, my loved ones, and i am there for them always. What is the point in learning of some random bad shit miles away from me that i cannot influence in anyway, and how do we decide which bad news to let in anyhow? Many people i know who do take on all the problems of the world end up angry or depressed, not me, fuck the rest of the world. Instead of joining the moaning masses, I have decided to keep my mind on the here and now and the things i can directly influence and make sure i make a difference.




Time is a way of us splitting up our existence into small chunks in a hope for us to understand and manage it.

Time passing from past to present is a fake concept we invented….  all that really is is now. Thats it. An eternal now.

“Time is an illusion” – Albert Einstein

No one knows how much we have, but we made it up, so it doesn’t exist and therefore does not matter. What matters is how full we live our life, and this is done by being present in the moment as much as possible.

A long life of worry and dissatisfaction is far less appealing than a short life of intense present moment awareness, integrity and acceptance.

Forget the clock, use one to help you meet with people and organise yourself and that is it.

Get out of your obsessive thoughts about what has been and what is to come, get back to what is, Now!

Let your senses help you get in the moment by looking, listening, touching and smelling the world around you

Whenever you do this, all worry and anxiety seem to to dissolve in an instant.


“We are living in a culture entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time, in which the so-called present moment is felt as nothing but an infinitesimal hairline between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. We have no present. Our consciousness is almost completely preoccupied with memory and expectation. We do not realize that there never was, is, nor will be any other experience than present experience. We are therefore out of touch with reality. We confuse the world as talked about, described, and measured with the world which actually is. We are sick with a fascination for the useful tools of names and numbers, of symbols, signs, conceptions and ideas.” ~Alan Watts