A Fog of shame enveloped me as i realised i sounded like a total TWAT. I had just clicked play online, of an interview of my band, live from Eden Festival in Scotland. The fan base was big, and we were headlining, and just on the tail end of smashing up a Scottish Tour. I was over excited, and doing my nervous / trying to be cool thing, of swearing every other word. Sat at home listening i was horrified. It was embarrassing. I cringed like i’d never cringed before. I painfully listened til the end. I was choked. Does everyone hate their own voice as much as me?
When Doghouse, our front man, spoke he was calm, collected, and came up with quips which were mysterious and left you gagging for more. He also had a knack for telling a story. When Johnny No-Cash spoke, he sounded just like the Drunken posh bloke from the Fast Show. And then the mic was shuvved back into my chops and i blurted out fucking this fucking that, incomplete stories, random shit, no cohesiveness, and talking total codshite that definitely did not connect. I seriously needed to sort this out. Embarrassing.
A few weeks later i joined a Speaker’s Club in Cardiff – probably one of the scariest journeys i have ever been on, I shit you not! I’ve never shaken so much as when i stood up in front of the 26 mainly retired people on the first night. Far more scary than playing on stage to 4000 ravers, i tell thee! I shuffled around behind the lectern and was handed a slip of paper by a random hand from nowhere. Everyone clapped. I unfolded the piece of paper and in pen it was written, “HANDICAP”.
The timer was hit by an old saggy geezer with thick specs who sat to my left and 52 staring eyes blinked in unison and awaited my performance.
I turned purple. I then began to shrink! The crowd’s bodies began to elongate, concaving up and arching over me. All the background noise was somehow sucked out of the room. Everyone was peering down at me, as i quivered behind the lectern. I sweated in the horrible silence for what seemed to be a few life times, and then just shouted out “HANDICAP!!”
I had 3 minutes to freestyle on this word. I dribbled, coughed, and managed about a minute of jumbled up words about a guy in a wheelchair who was being thrown around and upside down in a mosh pit at our recent Glasgow gig. I also managed to swear at the lovely elderly people, and left them blinking in silence. Than i walked off making a funny wheezing sound and then ran out of the room. For some reason they all started to applaud.
TERRIFYING. I went back to speakers club for a few months and managed to tame this raging fear a little, i’m no expert, but i started to learn to love the fear. This was the key to overcoming it. LOVE IT. It started to become a buzz. i was getting off on the FEAR! I’ll tell you more about it soon.
A god friend of mine is teaching out in Cambodia at the moment and some of his students are putting together a website. They asked me a few questions for their site and this is what i said. You may be amazed by the improvement in my interview technique! But i kind of cheated a bit. This one was by email!
Music Genre: Techno
What do you try and say with your music?
i like to rip people out of their reality and make them visit a new universe i made. Leave it all behind and come check this out!
What would you say is your biggest challenge as an artist?
Honing the craft of music writing and production. Being heard in a quagmire of millions of music makers. Oh, and trying to pay all the moaning people who need money from me,
If you could sing one song on American idol (or any music competition equivalent) what would it be?
Fluffy Puppy Rainbow Flower
If you were 80 years old what would you want to tell your grandchildren?
I helped millions of people travel to new dimensions, forgetting their thoughts and worries, like a meditation with bass n bleeps. this helped everyone feel better, so most of them never came back.
If you could live anywhere on the planet where would you want to live?
Anywhere is good for me. I like warm places, with forests and lakes.
If you could choose anyone to be your imaginary friend who would you choose and why?
Probably Joe Meek, the finest music producer that ever lived, the inventor of the home studio. Watch his movie Telstar to learn more.
What would you want to say to any of your fans out there?
Be vulnerable, be creative, be happy, but most of all, be trust worthy.
Who is your favorite musician?
Die Antwoord, love their exciting, boundary pushing productions.