HERE IS A GIFT FOR YOU, YOU DIRTY F*CK*R.

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When i was 11 days old i was sat on the sofa at home chilling with a spliff and some spaghetti alphabetti on toast, when this bunch of toe rags came on the telly and started swearing. My mam started cryin and my Grandad wrote to Points of View.

37 years passed. and then last night i decided to destroy the infamous, era changing, interview with Bill Grundy.

here is the video, with special guest appearance from The Golden Sisters!!!


download the tune free here:


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listen / download for free all 6 songs here: #666remixproject

thanks for listening.

ENJOY! SHARE if you LIKE it. nice one. x

flapfund

Thanks for your support… enjoy.

[Axiom] • Fail

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the project i started last year, Axiom23. to make one song per day for 23 days straight, no days off.

the idea was to sharpen my production skills and work out a creativity routine, and experiment within certain rules. also to practise the art of finishing. it all started well, but soon people became miffed at how busy i was. my girlfriend was fuming with me as i had disappeared off the face of the earth, and many other people were getting upset by my disregard for reality.

the project was opening me up to new ways of working, new restraints, new directions, new ideas. it was exciting the hell out of me. to be fair a lot of the tracks were a little ropey, but it was getting me into a hardcore routine. i was loving it.

my favourite’s had to be The Promise and Imagination. i failed to reach the 23 tracks.  i was just uploading track 14 when i had that phone call. Flakey. With the news. Our Dr Conker had died. My heart beat out of my chest in shock. The next 2 months were spent dealing with the loss of Conker, and tying up his affairs. Now almost a year later i have decided to return to the project, starting afresh, Axiom23 part II.  I will start on or around the same date as last year, and will blog how its going daily. just need to wrap up a few other things first. (#666remix project, Clusterfuck debut single, and some other shit).

here is last years failed Axiom23 effort:

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more news soon.

thanks for listening and spreading the flaps.

let me know what you think. xx

ugly

i sometimes look in the mirror and feel like crying. in fact i have cried in the past. this is due to something i call the FAILED NHS OPERATION. 12 years ago i had corrective jaw surgery. i woke from the op looking like a bruised yellow balloon, with bloody dripping plastic pipes bursting out of my massively swollen head. for a few months after, i ate all my dinners liquidized through a straw, as my teeth were clamped together and i had a brace. when the brace finally come off i looked in the mirror, the swelling was less. but instead of the op making me look better, i was an ugly motherfucker. my teeth were all pulled apart wide and looked big and yellow, and my face was chubbier and lopsided. i went home and cried. i moved away from all my friends and went to a new city, feeling like a freak. i tried to make new friends. i was a new person and i was trying to accept this. but i couldn’t. i fucking hated the way i looked.

now, 12 years later, when i look in the mirror i still dont look like me. and it catches me out every time. its like i’m expecting to look like me, and this weird cunt looks back at me! i think the NHS has made a disaster of my face. It looked so much better before, more defined, pointy, less flabby, lopsided and saggy. cunts. 12 years of head fuck. but many of my loved ones say i look the same. or better. am i insane.

but try explaining this to anyone and you just come over like a tosser. “there are more serious problems in the world! you vain bastard.”

simply being unhappy with the way we look, a deep dissatisfaction with oneself, can ruin your life, moment by moment. they say self esteem is everything. so if you don’t have any you’re fucked. a quick google of BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) will throw up many forums and horror stories. people deforming them selves through surgery. extreme self mutilation. depression. extreme seclusion. and even suicide to escape the misery. i believe the problem is ripe, so much so that it is affecting many people we know and love on a daily basis. millions are feeling terrible because of it. is this a new phenomena brought on by media / celebrity ideals, and the distorted importance of how we look coupled with the modern ability to change ourselves with surgery? or does the pain echo through history? a deep psychological illness? i believe Michael Jackson was a sufferer, and i believe many people we know are too. an inability to accept ourselves for what we are, for some reason.

last night, i felt a warm glimmer of liking myself, i saw myself from the outside, as if i were a stranger. an alien. this never happens! and it felt good. i first thought my thighs were ok. thats where it started. i thought of these, i think i liked this about me. i actually liked something about me! If I thought from this likeable area and tried to see me as a human from outside, i could see a nice, vulnerable man. there was nothing wrong with him, he was, from what i could see, just a man. warm, short, smiley, messy, nice thighed man. there was nothing to dislike, or nothing to say he wasn’t ‘right’. jason. nice little man.

i need to be kind to me. this is the start of my success in life. this is how people will start treating me right, as soon i like me. this is the key to everything going right for me for the rest of my life. my relationship with myself is everything. and for 12 years i’ve been completely unhappy with me. i need to build this love. i am stuck with me right up til the day i die. and i don’t plan on dying yet.

we accidentally grow the very thing we are fighting, with the power of inadvertent focus.

change can only sprout from the fertile ground of acceptance.

we are what we are. and we are amazing. it’s time to learn to accept ourselves.

celebrate your wrong bits.

CORNWALL [LIVE]

flap cornwall sns

Excellent night was had with Deekline, Skank n Stomp and all the crew, thanks for all who came, especially the mental dancers who proceeded to rip the decor down and scream til i was deaf when the PA blew up…. Top Night…

Enjoy the set, Free Download.

Happy Birthday Conker xxx

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I HATE MY OWN VOICE

A Fog of shame enveloped me as i realised i sounded like a total TWAT.  I had just clicked play online, of an interview of my band, live from Eden Festival in Scotland. The fan base was big, and we were headlining, and just on the tail end of smashing up a Scottish Tour. I was over excited, and doing my nervous / trying to be cool thing, of swearing every other word. Sat at home listening i was horrified. It was embarrassing. I cringed like i’d never cringed before. I painfully listened til the end. I was choked. Does everyone hate their own voice as much as me?

When Doghouse, our front man, spoke he was calm, collected, and came up with quips which were mysterious and left you gagging for more. He also had a knack for telling a story. When Johnny No-Cash spoke, he sounded just like the Drunken posh bloke from the Fast Show. And then the mic was shuvved back into my chops and i blurted out fucking this fucking that, incomplete stories, random shit, no cohesiveness, and talking total codshite that definitely did not connect. I seriously needed to sort this out. Embarrassing.

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A few weeks later i joined a Speaker’s Club in Cardiff – probably one of the scariest journeys i have ever been on, I shit you not! I’ve never shaken so much as when i stood up in front of the 26 mainly retired people on the first night. Far more scary than playing on stage to 4000 ravers, i tell thee! I shuffled around behind the lectern and was handed a slip of paper by a random hand from nowhere. Everyone clapped. I unfolded the piece of paper and in pen it was written, “HANDICAP”.

The timer was hit by an old saggy geezer with thick specs who sat to my left and 52 staring eyes blinked in unison and awaited my performance.

I turned purple. I then began to shrink! The crowd’s bodies began to elongate, concaving up and arching over me. All the background noise was somehow sucked out of the room. Everyone was peering down at me, as i quivered behind the lectern. I sweated in the horrible silence for what seemed to be a few life times, and then just shouted out “HANDICAP!!”

I had 3 minutes to freestyle on this word. I dribbled, coughed, and managed about a minute of jumbled up words about a guy in a wheelchair who was being thrown around and upside down in a mosh pit at our recent Glasgow gig. I also managed to swear at the lovely elderly people, and left them blinking in silence. Than i walked off making a funny wheezing sound and then ran out of the room. For some reason they all started to applaud.

TERRIFYING. I went back to speakers club for a few months and managed to tame this raging fear a little, i’m no expert, but i started to learn to love the fear. This was the key to overcoming it. LOVE IT. It started to become a buzz. i was getting off on the FEAR! I’ll tell you more about it soon.

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A god friend of mine is teaching out in Cambodia at the moment and some of his students are putting together a website. They asked me a few questions for their site and this is what i said. You may be amazed by the improvement in my interview technique! But i kind of cheated a bit. This one was by email!

Name: Flapsandwich

Music Genre: Techno

What do you try and say with your music?

i like to rip people out of their reality and make them visit a new universe i made. Leave it all behind and come check this out!

What would you say is your biggest challenge as an artist?

Honing the craft of music writing and production. Being heard in a quagmire of millions of music makers. Oh, and trying to pay all the moaning people who need money from me,

If you could sing one song on American idol (or any music competition equivalent) what would it be?

Fluffy Puppy Rainbow Flower

If you were 80 years old what would you want to tell your grandchildren?

I helped millions of people travel to new dimensions, forgetting their thoughts and worries, like a meditation with bass n bleeps. this helped everyone feel better, so most of them never came back.

If you could live anywhere on the planet where would you want to live?

Anywhere is good for me. I like warm places, with forests and lakes.

If you could choose anyone to be your imaginary friend who would you choose and why?

Probably Joe Meek, the finest music producer that ever lived, the inventor of the home studio. Watch his movie Telstar to learn more.

What would you want to say to any of your fans out there?

Be vulnerable, be creative, be happy, but most of all, be trust worthy.

Who is your favorite musician?

Die Antwoord, love their exciting, boundary pushing productions.

NINJAH – RAW STYLEE

Flapsandwich:

NINJAH LOVES IT FUCKING RAW STYLEE!!

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Get Yer FLaPS aROUND this FrEE w0nky DJ Set

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I played a DJ set on Wednesday in 10 Feet Tall in Cardiff for the NO NATO night organised by my flat mate and local celebrity anarchist, Cosmo.
I was supporting amazing acts Mr Vast and the unbelievably talented Clayton Blizzard, who’s CD i bought and love!

I got on the decks about 11pm and smashed out a massive set and managed to clear the place. I ended up rocking the room of exactly NO BODY until midnight, absolutely loving it! As there was no crowd i felt the freedom to experiment. I sneakily recorded it and i have to admit it’s all over the fucking place. I was on one. Dropping Gary Glitter and Thom Yorke in the mix with lots of deep technoey shit and never really settling on a direction. I was in two minds on whether to make it public but i thought FUCK IT.

3d Penguin tries his new stilts

 

here is the mix, it’s completely FREE! Once you have the music, if you like it, please share! share! share! and spread it as far as you can…. i’m on a mission to build a tribe of flappy ravers so i can eventually go out and play to massive crowds instead of just to a Welsh bemused barman!

Direct download CLICK ME

loads more FREE music HERE

 

HELP ME CONTiNUE MAKING THIS RACKET>>>

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Flapfund

Thanks for your support… enjoy.

the work SPACE and your inner SPACE

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What does your workspace look like?

Take a look around. Does it matter what state our space is in ? Where we create? Who cares right?

My girlfriend came to visit me in my bedroom studio a few months back and on entering and looking around at the complete mess of the place stood in the doorway with a bemused look on her face. She slowly turned to me and with a genuine look of worry asked “Are you alright?”

I must have appeared to be completely mental as the room was covered in crap and i was wild with creativity swirling in my eyes…. wires everywhere, clothes strewn all over the place, bed covered in bags and letters and junk – it looked like a dank dark squat with some stolen studio gear in it.

She wondered how the hell i cold possibly create anything in this environment.

And i think she had a point. i tidied up all my leads into my box and put the clothes on to wash and made the place nice. And then I got back to work…. With a completely fresh relaxed home and working environment everything flowed easy and nice….. Clear the outer space can help clear the inner space, one is a reflection of the other.

A few days later i experimented by making a tune in her relaxation centre, CoCo Rooms, a total heavenly room, with a serene atmosphere, completely squeaky clean with beautiful aromas. My music took a total new and unexpected direction.

“Remain orderly in your life so you can be free and chaotic in your work”. -Thom Yorke

Big Fish, Little Pond

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You could spend a lifetime looking for a little baby fish in the pacific ocean and it would be pretty unlikely you would ever find him.

However, if Moby Dick was to drop from the sky and land in a puddle in a city 2,000 miles away there’s a good chance, even if you wasn’t around to witness it, that you would hear about it.